Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

As a guy, how do you know you if you are considered attractive?

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can count

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why did Mark Lane harass Helen Markham during an illegally recorded telephone conversation to misidentify Lee Harvey Oswald who she witnessed as the shooter of Tippit?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”